Experts say that Most men will climax within 1-3 minutes of penetration, while woman take about 7 minutes to reach their peak. The gap between these numbers is the cause for so much frustration and problems in so many couples sex life. Statistic indicates that one out of three men experience premature ejaculation.
the first important thing to remember is that this gap is normal, it's not a disease like many "professionals" try to convince us (I guess it suits their goals to do so), rather it is a condition that is driven out of psychological reasons and biological reasons, it is quit normal. the way you should look at it is as a gap that with proper training can be covered.
There are at list 4 factors that are related to premature ejaculation: age, excitement, time from the last orgasm and stress.
Age – young people tend to come faster, they are more exited and poses poorer self control.
Excitement: this factor is related to age, men that tend to more exitment usually will climax faster, this is very logical due to the fact that orgasm is "the peak of excitement".
Time from last orgasm: usually if you experience orgasm, and wait a few minutes and then try again, it would take you more time to climax. This method is also very good to prolong sex, if you masterbade (or have your partner do it for you) before sex it can make your act longer. Although I don't think this is the best way, because usually sex after your first climax is not as good (for both sides).
Stress: this is the number one Factor for problems during intercourse! Stress can be caused from many things: it can be stress from work, from low self confidence, stress from disease, from your kids, from your studies, from bad performance in previous acts with your partner that causes stress during sex, and the list goes on. Our modern society gives us so many reasons to be stressed ,making a list of everything is impossible.
Many people can be very calm during their day to day life, but when they jump to bed with their partner they begin to feel stressed. This is a very important aspect you should look for, next time you are having sex .
What to do ?
- There are many techniques that can help you. The first one is talking, it is very important to share with your partner your fears and your problems, especially if it happens during sex. Don't think that if you keep it to yourself it will vanish; on the contrary, it will enhance and make you more miserable. So talk, this will probably make you calmer and your partner more sympathetic, this alone can dramatically improve your sex life.
- Learn to relax – take a course in meditation, do some yoga, start jogging, spend more time with your kids. What ever makes you relax is good enough, stop worrying and start living!!!
- Put some effort into your act, meaning: pic a nice and quite place where no one will disturb you, create cool atmosphere (candles, lights, music and such). -This will make you put some effort into your foreplay, and alone can make a big difference.
- For some men, stopping or cutting down on the use of alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs may improve their ability to control ejaculation.
Learn how to control your ejaculation!
- I know it sound dreamy but with a little practice you can do it. The first thing is know thy self: When you masturbate and about to come, stop, relax for a few seconds, and then continue. Do that for about 5 times and then climax. In this way you will learn how your body reacts, and eventually you will learn to control it .
- Learn to control your ejaculating muscles: when you pee, stop in the middle for a few seconds and then continue. Practice as much as you can. This will help you build your muscles, and control your self better.
- During sex change positions, this will help you to stop your thrusts, and will give you time to relax and stay in control.
Additional literature for further reading (if you are really serious about this):
This e-book is about zen and sexuality (its free).
This is also a free e-book about tantric sex.
If you want a really practical guide that was written by a well respected and professional expert on the subject check out:
Dr. Paulo amino's 25 methods for curing premature ejaculation
The don'ts
Well I am not a big fan of Viagra, and the other pills and lubricants that are marketed. Although they can help you in the sort run, they will probably do some damage in the long run. I’m not saying don’t use them, but try to do it as little as you can.
If you do decide to use them, try the natural ones and the milder ones that will help you, and will improve your performance but will not make you a sex maniac - like Viagra. The later will eventually make you depended on it.
If you do decide to use something, try Enlast it is a natural lubricant that has no proven side effects, and is designed to enhance sexual stimulation in men and woman, it's generated especially for premature ejaculation.
But as I said don't use these lubricants without taking care of your psychological issues. The lubricant should come as a supplement to other things, and not the other way around.
Remember it is possible to improve the situation drastically, i know from my own experience!!
you are welcomed to contact me and i will do my best to answer.
Good luck
